"TOO UGLY TO KISS GOODBYE"

When Bum Phillips, was asked by Bob Costas why he always took his wife on the road with him, he replied… “Because she’s too ugly to kiss goodbye”. Laughter ensues, as the colorful nature of “Bum”…a laugh in itself…shines through.

Life might be too serious if you couldn't find a reason to chuckle about that comment.

He died this past week at age 90, a lifetime of laughter, truisms, friendships, family, faith and charitable works behind him. I had watched him in action over the years with his characteristic 10 gallon hat and passionate stance as coach of the Houston Oilers and New Orleans Football teams. Passion, intensity and love of life, hurled at the viewer, as his movements cascaded on the sidelines.

It is not surprising that someone would want to capture the vividness of his life in a movie. It is more surprising that it would be offered as an Opera. “Bum’s” blessing for it was given in 2012 when he met with the artistic director Luke Leonard, and the composer Peter Stopschinski.

I had heard about this opera a few days before his death when my daughter informed us that she had been cast as Bum’s sister in this newly written opera.

The company’s name “Monk Parrots” is producing it in March 2014. “The company derives its name from Monk Parakeets … Unlike most exotic birds they can survive basically anywhere by working together and adjusting to unusual climates. They symbolize intelligence, endurance, adaptation, and collaboration.” This noted on Monk Parrot’s website.

Have you ever noticed words that pop up in your life and you reflect upon them? Well the word “Monk” popped up 2 more times this week, which is why I am writing about it today.

Monks…“They can survive basically anywhere by working together and adjusting to unusual climates. They symbolize intelligence, endurance, adaptation, and collaboration.” Hmm…parroting…

Catholic Monks set up a casket making operation in New Orleans after the Katrina Hurricane of 2005. The State, being pressured by lobbyists, attempted to shut them down because caskets were being sold at lower prices than funeral homes. The battle ensued for 5 years, with the Supreme Court finally siding with the free market system, and allowing the Monks to continue their work of making caskets. This story was being reported by Clark Howard, a money guru, enthused by this entrepreneurial win.

Legend has it that Buddhist Monks cultivated monk fruit some 800 years ago. It grows naturally on steep heavily forested mountains…and yet they found a way.

Can we?

If a situation seems too ugly to kiss it goodbye, it can lead to perseverating, depression, not living in the moment and giving up.

BUT…If there’s something ugly in your life, don’t kiss it goodbye too quickly…Face it… Own it…Then kiss it goodbye.

And don’t forget to laugh about it…as you start all over again.

UP...SHUT..DOWN

                                                                      

 “There was a duke of York…He had ten thousand men…he marched them up the hill…And he marched them down again…And when they’re up, they’re up…And when they’re down, they’re down…And when they’re only half way up they’re neither up nor down.”

A warm-up exercise to quell nervousness, that was part of a program I had been chosen as a participant my freshman year at the University of Alberta. Taught by the Christopher’s who were graduates of the Dale Carnegie Course, it was a leadership course on campus  to build confidence and speaking abilities by using your  God-given talents to make a positive difference in the world.

The class began with about 20 colleagues and 3 instructors…instructors who had an accepting aura that enveloped the room. Being introduced meant coming to the front of the room and speaking in the allotted time. I recall some participants not being able to speak a word…frozen, with what appeared to be a complete mental shutdown…stuck in the middle …not going anywhere on the march. We had to clap anyway for the fact that they got up and stood in front of the class…that was considered trying…positive reinforcement. I was not frozen in the middle, but felt as if I had babbled enough to look stupid. Relieved that my turn was over, I sat down, happy to cheer for the next candidate. Sometimes this new confident candidate did not want to shut up when the time had elapsed. Clapping had a wonderful way of signaling the end.  Growth and achievement were evident in all from week to week, no matter where you were on the march.

It is now 15 days into a government shutdown and life for the majority continues with little impact on their daily lives. There are still jobs, football games, and operas, swimming lessons, running competitions, shopping and even the Oct. 15 tax deadline. This is not to lessen the seriousness of the consequences of what is happening, it is only to point out that this could not happen in many countries where rule is imposed. Each day the debt ceiling looms closer, the voices from the citizens of the United States become more intense. They will not be shut up or shut down…all have a say and that is what a representative government is all about. However, it seems that for years we have been marching up the hill and down again where more of the hill is being eroded. If the hill becomes flat lined citizens will have no further active involvement in their government…they will only be recipients.

Is the bigger question…Does government reflect what is going on in family life? Are we content to be more involved with ourselves than we are as a family? If we shut down our technology, would that cause us to shut up? Would conversation take the place of posting? Would we still need filibusters?

  

HIGH HEELS AND SNOW

This bestselling author has sold over 80 million books and just signed a 3 year contract with Simon and Shuster…She will be 88 years old when that contract ends…but if past history is any indication, she will probably still be on an upward spiral. She received a college degree at age 50, wrote numerous short stories, 30 best sellers, a historical book as well as a memoir… all after she was widowed at 36 raising 5 children.

When does an inspiration begin?  When do you cultivate it?  When do you stop working on new ideas?

I have never read a book by her, but the latest book cover by Mary Higgins Clark captured my eye as it showcased a red high heel in the snow. Those of you who know me know that I love high heels, but hate snow…loving the high heels as an excuse to feel tall, elegant and capable…hating the snow for the cold, bundling up and treachery of maneuvering.

Two opposing forces…Opposites I had learned about as “Yin” and “Yang” in junior high school…taught in a narrow version as feminine and masculine, light and dark…Opposites!

My fascination with the words Yin and Yang caused me to delve more into this 5000 year old Chinese philosophy. The Yin Yang structure is far more defining than opposite forces. Although opposing, it is more complementary… two different energies coexisting, yet tied together. The outer circle representing everything in life…the black and white shapes representing the interaction of these two energies…a flow and balance…not one without the other.

The reporter asked, “Who is Jorge Mario Bergoglio?” to the man seated on the simple wooden chair. There was silence before he answered… “I am a sinner.”  More silence… “I am a bit astute, that I can adapt to circumstances, but it is also true that I am a bit naive.” Pope Francis… Humble… yet the Leader of the Catholic Church. Complementary forces surrounded by God’s embrace. Saint Ignatius called this discernment as he struggled to reach a higher calling. His vision, and that of Pope Francis, “Not to be limited by the greatest and yet contained in the tiniest-this is the Divine.”

Ancient Buddhist Tradition describes this balance as “The Wheel of Life;” North American Indians as a “Medicine Wheel.” Other cultures also depict life in circular motion as well…all encompassing, no beginning or end! Balance only being achieved through struggle and discernment.

When opposing forces threaten to derail my life, can I see it as a call to discernment and either repair or discard the wheel that has become damaged to once again achieve harmony and growth towards a higher calling? How and when do I use discernment?

High heels and snow could be my beginning!

WHERE ARE THE LEGS

                                                             

I was listening to an interview where Bill O’Reilly was asked about his new book, and how he came up with the title “Killing Jesus”. He said “All of the ideas come to me in the middle of the night. And one night I just woke up and I went “Killing Jesus.” With that title in mind and his history writer Martin Dugard who had also been co-author of the best sellers “Killing Lincoln” and “Killing Kennedy” set out to research and write a book about the historical Jesus. Their work published within a short span of 8 months.

The idea about “Pregnancy Redefined” woke me up in the middle of the night as well. I was startled that his title had been a two word title as well, and after listening to O’Reilly, I felt shameful I hadn't pushed through the pain and continued to write. After all, “Pregnancy Redefined” indicated “full of meaning,” “significant,” “fertile,” and “rich. Wasn't my goal to put out ideas for growth to those who would find some type of inspiration from reading them? Even if one person was inspired by my writing would it not be important?

The idea of pushing through the pain is not new to me. I have achieved goals by doing just that, and yet this writing inspiration was not taking hold. I had just finished reading “The Tools” by Phil Stutz & Barry Michels, described as “5 tools to help you find courage creativity, and willpower-and inspire you to live life in forward motion.”Writing must have been in the back of my mind when I chose it.

I've been on a hiatus for awhile as I felt I had no leg to stand on writing about “Pregnancy Redefined”.  I felt I had nothing new to say to the reader to hold their interest… not relevant, old fashioned, high idealed, melodramatic, sentimental, and not trying my hardest… to put it in my own judgmental words.

But here I am again inspired to write. Our ideas come with that interior voice beckoning us to go beyond our comfort zone, push through the pain and fear, and develop a strategy no matter what our age.

The sonogram could not detect legs on the baby. As a result the doctor wanted the pregnant mother back for amniocentesis. She decided against the procedure displaying her willingness to accept this baby sight unseen. Her heart was heavy as fear, sadness and acceptance intertwined for the balance of the pregnancy. 

   

I had forgotten about this incident when my daughter reminded me of the nightmare she had faced and my response had been “We’ll just get a wheelchair for her.” She reminisced about this as we drove back from a 5K race… That baby, now 11 years old had just won first place in that 3.2 mile cross country  race, a 6^th grader beating out 167 junior high and high school girls. No wheelchair needed! Legs in motion! One leg standing… the other flying!

That 11 year old was interviewed regarding her big win. When the interviewer asked her how she won this, she replied, “I tried my hardest.”  He then asked her what her strategy was. She replied, “I started at the pace I thought was good for me and then eventually picked it up.”

I saw many girls cross the finish line that day with a winning strategy to pick up their pace. So here I am trying to pick up the pace to be able to say “I tried my hardest”. Whatever hurdles we have to overcome no matter what age, there is inspiration all around. We only have to believe we have a leg to stand on!